The Frozen African

The Frozen African

Thursday, June 19, 2014


I have been meaning to write this post for months.

I have been stalling !! Honestly, I did not know how to write this.


So, last January, I wrote about “10 things you did not know about me” and I left # 10 as a cliffhanger. I didn’t mean to leave it like that for a long time. Shame on me !

Ironically, this month turned out to be a “special” month (I actually forgot) and I thought to myself “the universe is trying to tell me something lol…”

This month is LGBT month and I am a bisexual.

There I said !

I don’t divulge it to a lot of people, but I thought what the heck.

Of course Guillaume knows about it as I told him while we were dating and he just love me for me J I decided to tell him because one of my best friend is gay and we usually talk and laugh about my “ways”, and I wanted to feel comfortable talking about them around G.

No, we are not swingers ! (Ask us in 20 years after our kids are all grown up and out of the house lol)

Unfortunately, the only people I don’t openly talk about it with is my family. They are pretty religious and have narrow view about it, especially my mom and sister (Want another shocker?! I am Christian too ! Double whammy!) I know for a fact that if I am more open about my bisexuality, I might never be able to hang out with my nieces again. I know it sucks! It sucks not to be more free and just talk openly, but I guess sigh…there is nothing I can do. Actually, yes I can just be there for my nieces when they need me. That’s all.

Another reason why I am writing this post is because G wanted me to. He accept me for who am I (nerdy, religious, bisexual, and all) and he wants me to be honest and open with our son. I always tell him that it will be the hardest conversation to have with our kids but he always say that I will be the coolest mom because I will give great dating tips lol. I don’t know but I guess I will cross that bridge when the time comes…

Anyway, let’s go to the fun stuff…

I could go on and on my little bisexual self but I would rather go through reactions/comments people had when I told them this little tidbit about me J :

“Girl, you don’t look like a bisexual! “

Ummm what do bisexual look like? Seriously somebody tell me because this is always the comment I get! Trust me people ! We look like normal people J

“Can you even be in a monogamous relationship?”

Umm…do you see this ring on my finger? Do you think this is a joke or something?
First of all, when I was single, I was monogamous with all my partners. People think all bisexuals love to date both sexes at the same time all the time. We are not all polyamorous and/or swingers.

“Aren’t you sure you are gay? Are you afraid to come out of closet or something?”

Nope! I am definitely bisexual. Trust me! After a lot of years of partners and sexual experiences, I definitely know for sure I am a bisexual.

“Bisexual, huh? So does it mean that G and you are going to have a lot of threesomes?”

Ummm… ok first of all, I am growing a baby in my belly here so have some respect ! He might hear us! Ok kidding!
Second of all, I may be the only bisexual that does not want a threesome because I get jealous. The only way that would happen is if G gets me very drunk or we are in our late 40s-50s, and we tried everything sexually, and a threesome would be considered the last resort to spice up our sex life. I am so serious!

“Bisexuals have it easy! They don’t go through as much as gays/lesbians/transgenders” (one of my friends said that)

I understand that we don’t go through as much as gays/lesbians/transgenders , but we have our own set of limitations:
-nobody takes us seriously in the gay and straight community and that sucks!!
-dating is hard because some people do not want to be with you, fearing you will cheat on them with opposite sex. Opposite problem is some people will date you only because they think bisexuals just want sex and/or just sexual freaks.

(Note from G: Stephanie is an awesome woman and when she revealed this to me I wasn’t aware of all the misconceptions she writes about.  To me it just means she has the option to date a man or a woman, and I am so glad she chose me and married me!)

Anyway, I have ran out of things to say ! Actually, baby H is kicking is my belly to alert me I am way past bedtime lol ! But, do you have any questions for me? Would you like me to share some of my salacious and funny stories from my single bi days ?

Hope you have a great weekend guys !!! I am off to Newfoundland tomorrow for a friend's wedding :) I will be definitely taking a lot of pics :)

P.S.= If you have time, check out Pride Parade in late August in Ottawa J I am not sure if I will have enough strength to go, but I know I will definitely be there next year with Baby H and G J


  1. Wow...good for you for being so honest. I was talking to my oh the other night about this as he struggles to understand. But I said that it is amazing to love people or find them attractive for who they are rather than for their gender.

    1. Thanks ! I try to be as honest as i can :)

  2. I am... very NOT shocked :-) Not that I ever thought much about your sexuality per se, but sexuality is very complex and nothing is that simple. I think it's great that G and you are on the same wave length and people should be happy with what they are, gay, straight, bi, transgender, whatever.

    I can't understand people who have an issue with homosexuality, bisexuality, etc. I mean, if it offends your morals or your beliefs or whatever... I don't know, don't be gay and lie to yourself if you are?! But stop convincing other people that the world is made of straight people with libido ONLY to procreate. The world is much more interesting than that!

    1. Lol :)

      I agree ! The world is so much more interesting and complex. It is better to explore it :)

  3. I love your blog and your honesty. Keeping it real in a world that wants to label and pigeon-hole everyone is not easy.

    1. Thank you ! I really appreciate it :)

  4. I love your blog and your honesty too, in this world it's not easy. We ought to live in a world where everyone can love the way they want to and who they want.