The Frozen African

The Frozen African

Thursday, March 9, 2017


So to recap from the last post, i quit my full time job and the reason i gave was medical/health reason.

This is not a bogus reason. It is very real.

Let me bring you back to last year...

Guillaume and i had been trying to have another child for a year early January 2016.

We decided it was time to see a fertility/reproductive specialist and we made an appointment with our primary doctor to get a referral around November. We were able to see a specialist in December and we had to wait until my next period, around the end of December, to start the tests they recommended us to do.

Here is our timeline:

Dec. 6 : First appt with specialist

Dec. 30: My cycle Day 1 start and i am supposed to call to schedule a baseline ultrasound and blood/hormones test but clinic is closed for holidays so i have to wait until it reopens. The baseline ultrasound test is to check your follicle count (before they mature as eggs), check your fallopian tubes, and check to see if i had any cysts.

Dec. 22: semen analysis for Guillaume (due to G’s medical condition, we knew that his count was a bit low but we were not sure how low it would be)

Jan. 2: baseline ultrasound & blood/hormones test

Jan. 9: hysterosonogram test; this is one also look at the state of my ovaries, cervix, and fallopian tubes. I heard horror stories of how this one hurt a lot. Luckily, the clinic asked me to take Ibuprofin prior to the test and i think they also precribed with a pain medication just in case to take prior to the procedure. 
The procedure was a bit uncomfortable (TMI saline is injected inside your vagina so not the greatest feeling!), but it is not hurt as much as i thought it would. I think the meds helped. At the end of the procedure, the doctor that did (not mine) said that the saline had trouble going into my left tube but she thought it was a technical error as it happens a few times. 
Afterwards, i went to work and i had a bit of cramping, but that’s about it.

Jan 19 : Progesterone test to check if i ovulated normally.

Feb. 13: Follow up appt with specialist...

So at the follow up appt, the specialist Dr. J told us that G’s semen was actually good (we were beyond excited) and my tests came back all normal and i ovulated normally, except left tube was blocked. When i asked her if we could do an IUI, she told me the clinic had a weight restriction for IUI. I was shocked because their website did not specify this detail and she failed to tell us that detail at our first appointment.

What was the doctor’s recommendation/treatment plan? For me to lose weight and come back when i lose 40 lbs or so just in case we have to do IVF. And nothing else. The appointment ended that way. No words of wisdom. No word of encouragement. No alternatives. No FUCKING nothing !!

To say that i was devastated is an understatement.

I had felt somebody took my heart and crushed it by stomping on it a million of times and then set it on fire ! I wish i could have slapped Dr. J !! I was livid when i left the Dr.’s office. G and i sat in the car for an hour or so trying to take in the news, and i lost it at G (poor guy!). We talked and talked. We figured out that if i could reduce my hours and focus on losing the weight, i could achieve it in 4-7 months.

After i calmed down, we drove back to work and i could not focus on anything. I asked my supervisor if i could reduce my hours but she said she really needed somebody full time. After this, i was still distraught and i was so mad. I decided that if my job could not be accomodated, i would have to leave and focus on being healthy to get pregnant. Plus, the work commute and work culture was getting at me to the point i was starting to get deliberately mean to others (also i had a few bouts of crying fits in the car while on the phone with G which scared the crap out of him and myself too). 

I thought if i slept on it and the next day, i came to the same decision, then i would submit my 2 weeks notice the same day.

By the time i got home, i had asked a few friends and acquaintances (G asked some of his co-workers about their experiences at the clinic), and it was unbelieavble to get feedback from others that had the same tube blocked issue and their doctors recommeded different treatment plans. Some were prescribed medications to ovulate on their open tubes and were able to get pregnant successfully. Others asked for their hystersonogram to be redone and the results showed that their tube was not blocked. 

 I WAS STUNNED !!!!!!!!!

I felt like my doctor failed to give me all of my options and I WAS SO MAD !!!!!

The next day, i asked G to call the clinic and request a new doctor for a second opinion, and i submitted my 2 weeks notice. 

When i submitted the letter to HR, i felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I felt free!!! 

I started to not care as much (i mean cared about my client and my work), but i didn’t let things get to me too much because i knew there was an end date.

I was so happy !!!!!

Plus i was happy because i had another job lined up just in case ! Mama didn’t raise no fool !!!

To be continued....


  1. So sorry to hear about your troubles! It sucks having reproductive issues. But I hope you sort them out and the new baby emerges soon.

    I also have issues, fibroids and cysts, but I am not looking to get pregnant. Just need to make sure the fuckers don't kill me :)

    Congrats on the new job!

    1. Thanks !
      I used to have cysts when i was younger and it sucked ! So i feel your pain.
      Yes hopefully new doctor can give me more options.

      Thank you !

  2. I'm so, so sorry you were treated like this... you aren't the first woman in Ottawa I know who is consulting for fertility issues and is given the "oh well, too bad" answer. A friend of mine was told she was too old (she was 38). Another was told she already had one kid and she should be happy with that.


    By the way, both eventually did get pregnant and they both have the family they wanted now :-) Seriously, two happy endings. It's just infuriating when healthcare professionals treat patients like this. While age/weight whatever may be a valid issue (no idea, I'm not a doctor) they are ways to explain it to patients and you need to be given ALL the options!

    1. Thanks!
      Oh wow hearing stories like that give me hope :)

      It sucks when doctors act like this !